Praying, Waiting, Crying, Trying...

It's hard to believe that this Mother's Day, I'm a Mother. I've been thinking about this post all week. I was excited about it and dreading it at the same time. Excited because after 3 years of praying, waiting, crying, trying, God has answered our prayers and has given us our miracle baby. Alex and I thank God on a DAILY basis for this life inside of me. Today, I sat in the room that will be the nursery and cried. I praised Him for what He has given me and yet my heart was heavy for those of you that are still praying, waiting, crying, trying. My own Mother has always been such an encouragement on Mother's Day. She would always buy me a mom-to-be card and write an encouraging note/scripture inside...assuring me that my day would come. I remember reading those cards and just crying. I wanted to believe it would happen, but found it hard to even imagine when or how it ever could. The pain is dreadful. I've experienced heartache in my life, but it was nothing compared to that of infertility. You feel broken. Like there's something wrong with you. Defective. Unless you've been there, it would be hard for you to understand what I'm talking about. I dreaded going to church, restaurants...really I dreaded anything on that day that required me getting out of bed. I just wanted to sleep through it. Everything on that day is a constant reminder of what you don't have, what you can't have...a baby.

I write this post, not to be a downer. I write it to those that are still praying, waiting, crying, trying...girls, know that God is right there beside you. Know that there is no one better to run to with tears streaming down your face, tomorrow, than Him. He will wrap you up and ease that dreadful pain. And He will do even better than that...when you least expect it, He will give you your miracle. If you can't hang on to that and believe it, know that I'm believing it for you.

Mom, thanks for always believing it for me, when I didn't have the heart or strength to believe it for myself. You've always given unconditional love and support and for that I am thankful. I love you so much!!

Happy Mother's Day