For this I am thankful...

Well, I'm closer to finishing my Christmas decorating. I decided last night that I would stay up until I was tired and work on everything. That ended up being 1:30am. Unfortunately, a lot of the side effects of the lupron depot have hit me all at once...headaches, insomnia, a few hot flashes, but the hardest has been that I have very little desire to do anything. I have found myself crying A LOT and on a daily basis. It was getting harder and harder for me to get out of bed and start my day. I finally called my doc yesterday and told him what was going on. I knew there was no way I could make it through the holidays feeling this way, let alone the next 3 months. He called something in and I'm hopeful that it will kick in over the next few days and I will start feeling some what 'normal' again. I love the holidays way too much to feel like sleeping through them.

I volunteered at the Union Rescue Mission, this morning. What a wonderful organization. We handed out hundreds of boxes for families to have a Thanksgiving meal of their own. As I handed boxes to these families (some who came on foot), it was a huge dose of perspective for me. God has blessed me beyond measure and I lose sight of that sometimes. I focus on this one thing that has become my job, so to speak. The occupation of trying to conceive. I so don't want to be that person. It's something that I have to fight on a daily basis...sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. God reminds me that I'm so much more than that and He desires way more for me than that. I'm so thankful that He doesn't give up on me.

We were encouraged on Sunday to list what we're thankful for...to count our blessings.

For this I am thankful...

I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father...He came, He died and He gave me eternal life. He is truly my source of strength.
I'm thankful for my husband...he is so patient with me. He always shows me unconditional love. And trust me when I say, that's not so easy these days.
I'm thankful for my church...it's a place where I can go and totally be myself. It's the one and only place that I want to be on Sunday.
I'm thankful for my family...God chose the best family in the world for me to be born into and then He blessed me again with a wonderful family to marry into. There is nothing like having family that you truly enjoy spending time with, that you want to be around as much as possible, with whom you are best friends.
I'm thankful for God's provision...financially, these aren't the best of times for many, but God has blessed Alex with a wonderful job that provides for our needs as well as our wants.
I'm thankful for my infertility...though this is at the bottom of the list, I certainly have a need inside me to find ways to be thankful for this. As hard as it is most days, I can still see the blessings that have come from my infertility. I pray that I never lose sight of those things, for it's those things that God uses to teach me and to remind me of just how far He has brought me.

Love to all,
Jill