Nothing says, HAPPY HOLIDAYS like an HSG...

I went in for my 2nd HSG this afternoon. Dr. B ordered another, just to make sure that my right tube hadn't developed an infection or blockage. I need the right one to work, since it's the only one I have. I was dreading it and wanted to get it over with before the holidays and before the end of the year (for insurance purposes). The procedure was performed at a different hospital...an older hospital...but all of the staff were very friendly. I also liked it because Dr. M (one of the partners at my IF clinic) came over and did it vs. having a technician do it (like last time). We were with a different clinic the last time I had this done, so a few things were done differently. One being, the last place didn't do any type of numbing beforehand...you just had to grin and bear it...or cry and bear it was more like it. Dr. M told me he would do some numbing before inserting the dye. I was thinking they swab it with something...nope, they stick a needle directly into your cervix with some sort of numbing agent. All I have to say about that is...OH MY. The numbing helped a little, but he had trouble getting the fallopian tube to fill with dye, so he had to add a lot of pressure...that's when the water works started. I don't cry, as in sob...I just have tears running down my face uncontrollably. I always feel like a big baby but I can't help it. The cramping is fierce. He and the nurse were great and hurried through it as fast as they could. Good news is...once the tube filled, it spilled out and everything looked great! I'm now home and have taken a pain pill to help with the cramps.

I think back, before all of this infertility testing started...I used to dread having my yearly pap smear. Now those are a walk in the park compared to what they do to me at the fertility clinic. There is no such thing as modesty in infertility and sometimes it makes me cry...that everything has to be so painful. Emotionally and physically painful. Today is one of those days that as my friend, Faith says, "I'm kicking dirt." I'm sure I will be back to my 'normal' self, tomorrow...but today I just need to cry.

~J