A sad day...

I woke up early this morning and went in to have blood drawn. It took all of 5 minutes. I had already planned to spend the day in Hot Springs with my parents...Mom said we could shop all day to keep my mind off of it. I arrived at their condo around 10:30 this morning and needed to go to the bathroom immediately. There was blood...at that moment my heart sank. My Mom tried to reassure me that it didn't mean anything. I told her that I wanted to go shopping and not think about it. We were walking into our first store and the phone rang. It was the clinic. The nurse said it was a negative bloodtest...I'm not pregnant. My heart broke upon hearing those words. I immediately needed to get in my car and drive home. I had been there all of 30 minutes but knew I wouldn't be good company. I needed Alex.

I had an hour to drive back home and Alex met me at the door. We've been curled up in the bed every since...crying. Neither of us understand it but know God has a purpose.

The nurse was talking to me about a FET (frozen embryo transfer) but I'm not sure that I can jump back into another cycle right now...I think it's going to take some time. We had no idea the way it would hurt if/when we received the call that it didn't work. Now we do...and we're just not sure our hearts can take it again, so soon.

We weren't going to share the news until Saturday but to be honest, we need your prayers right now more than ever...we're grieving for the two babies that didn't stay.

No matter the outcome, it is His best for me...

Love you all,
Jill