Saturday, October 11, 2008

Thank you...

Thank you, for all of the supportive comments. I would describe our mood as extremely sad but we're doing okay. We can definitely feel your prayers.

My devotional yesterday was sent directly from God, no doubt. The author spoke about how God wants us to trade our sorrows for His joy. When we weep over the baby that we never got to hold, He offers His comfort for our mourning. When our heart hurts over the deep wounds of infertility, He offers to trade His healing for our brokenheartedness. She talked about being bound by the hurt of special days that we have to experience without a baby, or held captive by the discomfort of facing favorite friends or relatives as their waistlines expand. The good news in all of this...He offers freedom for our captivity! I'm choosing to lay down the despair that haunts me every 28 days and wrap my heart in a garment of praise as I begin to realize that my life and family really are in God's hands. No better place to be, right? If you don't already receive these devotionals, sign up for them. They always speak to my heart and I believe anyone who struggles with infertility would benefit from them as well.

As I read my devotional yesterday, it reminded me of a song that we always sing at the Beth Moore Conferences..."Trading My Sorrows " by Darrell Evans. I sang it all afternoon and it just filled my heart with joy.

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

And we say, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse, for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning!

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

It's all going to be okay...

Love to all,


Kelly said...

Hi - I found you because you have me as a link and I just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry. I know the devastation that infertility brings. I know the hopelessness you probably feel right now. I hate it for you. I pray daily for all the girls like you who are waiting for a baby of your own. I'll keep you on my mind. I pray God blesses you soon - don't give up!

SAHW said...

You are awesome, Jill. I'm a day late and didn't get to comment on your last post. I'm so sorry it didn't work out, and I can imagine how hard it must have been. But your attitude and outlook is awesome. And I think it's the only way we can make it through this, to truly believe that God's plan is better than ours, we plan, but He is the best of planners. Even believing this, it's still sometimes difficult to get through the painful days...that's what we're here for. :)

Faith said...

Jill, I'm glad to see this update and hear that you and Alex are hanging in there. I know it is not easy, but I fully believe God will reward you for your faithfulness.

Thanks so much for sharing the devotional site...I just went and signed up to receive them.

Hugs, Faith

Joannah said...

That's a favorite song of mine, too. We really are so blessed to have a foundation of faith whilst we journey through infertility.


Jim and April said...

just wanted to let you know I started and OFFICIAL TTC from now you can check me out there probably even more than the one I have now as I will probably write in this one more! you know how I can find more women/couples on blogger that are christians going through inferility/loss?

Leslie Laine said...

Hi Jill - thanks for posting today. It's good to know that you all are hanging in there and really looking for the positives in this. Know that you are an inspiration and your trust in God really is something that makes me take a look at my own relationship with God.

Thanks for sharing your devotional and the song. Still thinking of you and praying for you both.


Anonymous said...

Hey girl, I am so sorry. Hang in there. I'm praying for you guys.


Anonymous said...

Jill, thank you for sharing this. I am praying for you and will continue to. You are something else :) and a true inspiration to more people than I bet you know. Love you. ab

Alison said...

I am so sorry to hear about your beta. My eyes swelled with tears for you. But you are right... infertility has a way of holding you captive and I am living proof that God can free you from that captivity. My husband and I have lived "TTC free" for less than 3 months now and I can stand and testify that God has healed my broken heart and brought me hope for our future, children or no children. It took me having to let go of the plans of us being parents. The thought of me not ever being a mom was a noose I was willing to hang around my neck. Praise be to God, that is no life He wants us to lead! He wants us to live in victory! Better is one day living in God's peace than a lifetime of sorrow brought on by infertility. Today, I have no doubt that God will use it and I am excited to see what His plan is. Whether it's through the miracle of adoption or the thankfulness of a clean home with no children :) I put my trust in Him. I'm telling you all this to bring you hope. There is so much to life after all this heartache and it's only through Jesus. I will be praying for you Jill. You are so strong and I have no doubt you will find the "joy of the Lord" so much quicker than me, if not already. :)
xoxo, Alison

Kristine said...

Hi Jill,
I have been following your blog for a few months now and thought I would finally say "hi". The positive nature of your blog and the trust that you have in Christ is admirable. I am so sorry for what you have been through and I wanted to say thank you for what an encouragement this particular post is to me.