Thursday, January 8, 2009

The rest of the story...

I think it's important when sharing ones story, that we share the good days, as well as the not-so-good days. My not-so-good days are few and far between, but they do come and I always need time to think, pray & process. I write about those days because I think it's important to be real. Alex reminds me that we wouldn't have I & II Samuel, had Hannah not been real and shared her not-so-good days.

I take comfort in the fact that Naomi's story didn't end with her insisting on being called Mara. As my devotional points out (from Sarah's laughter)...
Here’s the good part. God doesn’t just see the here-and-now like we do. God saw more than a grieving widow and childless mother when He looked at Naomi. He saw a woman restored. It’s found in the first two words of Ruth 2:1, “Now Naomi…” God still called Naomi ‘pleasant”! There is never any account of God referring to Naomi as Mara or “bitter”. What does this tell us? This tells us that God saw more than what Naomi was able to see. He could see that He would restore her. He could see that the devastating season of her life would eventually end, and bitterness would leave her. God looked at Naomi and in His eyes, He saw her as pleasant.

I realize that God can see more than infertility in my life. He sees more than a struggle to conceive. He sees the future He has planned for me, and it’s a good one (Jeremiah 29:11). He sees that my constant struggle with infertility will eventually end!

Thank you, for your words of encouragement and for your prayers. God uses you to turn my not-so-good days into days where I'm actually thankful for this journey...every happy, sad, exciting, bitter, lovely day on this journey.

Today...my name is Jill. :)

Love to all!

15 comments:

Seraphim said...

Much love to you Jill, and what you write? so, true. God sees so much more than what we see ourselves as defined as xxxx

Vashti said...

Jill suits you so much better than Mara! Im praying!
xx

becca said...

I missed your Wednesday post, but read it after reading today's. I'm glad you are doing better, but I'm glad you share your struggles. I'm not one to 'put on a happy face' if there isn't one there, though I don't share too much on my blog b/c I have students who read it. Even if I DO put on a happy face, my husband tells me I'm not very good at faking it :)
I hope you have a fabulous day and an even better weekend (and of course a baby in 2009). We're praying for you.

Joannah said...

This is a great post. Have a beautiful day, Jill!

Rhonda Rae said...

Glad your jill again. :) also i was going to add you on face book but it wont let me for some reason?

Lacy said...

I have "Mara" days too, this infertility journey sure is a roller coaster of emotions! I am praying for y'all Jill!!

Hardage Family said...

You rock Jill. God is working through you... P.S. My song must have worked!

Heather said...

I love that you are real and that you write about ALL the days. It ministers so much to others!
Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us!

Mel said...

I adore you.
*hugs*

Glitter and Bliss said...

How beautifully written. I read your earlier post, and I am so touched by your story. Bless your heart. I know you have been through so much, but I know your dreams of becomming a mommy will come true. I just know it. Many prayers to you and your hubby. Leslie

Baby Sara's Mom said...

You are so sweet Jill! i always learn so much from reading your blog and it changes my perspective in life. When I was reading your last blog before this one I remembered the Bible Study I did " a beautiful offering" from angela thomas ... I think you've done too.... the theme song it's so beautiful and I kept thinking of that song as I was reading, do you know that song? "This my offering" from Kelly Minter... mostly where it says: I will go where you lead I will trust what I can't see.

You are beautiful Jill and God sees you just like that... what a beautiful offering you are to Him as you show yourself just as you are to Him.

I know deep in my heart that God will reward your faithfulness and obedience to Him. I pray for God's will to be done in your life. Thanks for being real so we know how we can pray for you. Have a super fabulous weekend! love, Nitzia

Eric and Emily said...

Thanks for sharing how you feel, it is so familiar for so many people out there, what a comfort to know others are going through the same emotions of infertility. It was a struggle for me everyday to try to be positive, I don't think I did as good a job as you at all, we all have bad days, but you always come back with a refreshing positive outlook!!! Your attitude must be so pleasing to God!

Linda Lou Rogers Averitt said...

well I always saw you as my sweet JIll and always will!! I am thankful you are not so heavy laden, woe is the one who falls and does not have his brother/sister there to pick him/her up!! I am so thankful we can be honest and hold each other up when we can not stand alone;) I love you my swet JIll!

Faith said...

Praise God....He can see!!! Thank you for this word, Jill. I appreciate your realness and openness...it helps me know that I am not alone.

You are in my prayers! Love you, Faith

P.S. I saw your sweet comment on my mom's blog and you know I would love to help you in any way I can! Just let me know if you want to work on a makeover =)

courtney said...

Jill, both of these posts touched my heart deeply. Thank you for being vulnerable and reminding me that God still values us and our hearts and lives. I really appriciated this.
Sorry I've been MIA lately. I'm still reading posts, but again, at work I can't post, but I'm still praying...